Andy Borman serves as executive director of the New York Rens, a basketball association that aims to develop exceptional student-athletes who understand and embrace the fundamental principles of basketball, develop good sportsmanship, exhibit positive athletic and personal conduct, and excel in athletic competition. Coach Borman has been with the organization since August of 2014 and in this episode, he shares about his own background, his experiences in sports as a kid, what he learned from his dad about sports, and the importance and power of the coach’s decision in sports. And be sure to stick around to the end when Andy shares the three best and worst things parents can do in raising young student-athletes.
Here’s his Dad’s advice to him in 7th grade: “If you want to ensure that playing time is there for you, no matter what… you have to be the best player on your team. And it has to be obvious. Not obvious to you but obvious to everyone in the stands…. And if you’re not the best, now it’s coach’s decision.”
What parents need to understand about Coach’s choice.
Many parents feel that their input to the coach about their kids’ ability will get a better opportunity for their kid. It’s natural for parents to want their child to have every opportunity, but from a coach’s perspective, the kids have to be willing to work for the opportunity. They have to be willing to workout and hustle to become a better player because it’s the better players that get to play. But in the end, it’s the coach’s choice as to who those “better” players are. Parents need to understand that. Parents need to be willing to hear the truth if they ask the coach about why they are not playing.
Advice to parents: “I will never question the coach in front of my kid. I have no problem with parents talking to coaches, just don’t do it in front of your kids. Then don’t turn around and relive that conversation with your kid. It does no good. You’re undermining the coach. You can do that, and then just know that it will get to a point where, whether it’s high-level AAU or high-level college when that coach will say, ‘Get out and take your kid with you.’ There are 100 different ways to get what you want. Anytime you make a coach feel they like they are invested, that they are a part of your kid’s life, I think it’s better for your kid. And so if you’re not happy with your kid’s playing time then grab a ball, get up a little earlier in the morning, and go to the park. Because once again, if your kid was the best player, he’d be playing. If he’s not, then it’s coach’s decision.”
Three of the worst things parents do in the lives of their student-athletes.
One of the questions Coach Andy Borman was asked on this episode of The Mo’ Motion Podcast was what parents do that are terrible for their student athletes. Coach Borman was not shy about responding. He says that when parents run down the coach or make everything the coach’s fault, they are not helping their kids – they are giving them a victim mentality. When they don’t hold their kids responsible for their own actions or lack of diligence, they are not helping their kids. Find out more about the ways Coach Borman says parents sabotage their own kids’ success on this episode.
Outline of This Episode
- [0:20] Introduction of Andy Borman and this episode of the podcast.
- [1:46] Andy’s growing up years and his athletic pursuits as a youngster.
- [7:44] How Andy advises parents to allow their kids to participate in as many sports as they like and how his experienced helped him.
- [12:44] Andy’s best moments as a player in college.
- [19:50] The lenses through which parents and coaches look at players.
- [23:05] When should a kid enter A.A.U.?
- [27:49] How can parents accurately determine the skill level of their child?
- [41:10] Important values Andy believes parents should adopt.
- [49:16] Three of the worst things parents do to their student athletes.
- [51:45] Three positive things parents should do for their kids.
(Thank you to Freddie Astaire for his awesome intro music.)
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Director & Founder of Mo' Motion
Maureen Holohan is a former college and pro player, published author, teacher and journalist. Maureen started Mo’ Motion in Manhattan in 2009 with one team of boys. Today Mo’ Motion serves 650 players per year with its offices in Harlem, NY.Read More